Creating Community
Loneliness is an epidemic in our society. The current US Surgeon General, Dr Vivek Murthy released an advisory in early May 2023 calling attention to the public health crisis of loneliness, lack of connection, and feelings of isolation. This epidemic of loneliness predates the devastating pandemic of Covid 19. Lack of social connection and loneliness increase the risk of premature death as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Yes, read that again, social isolation and loneliness can be more dangerous than smoking. It increases risk of heart disease, stroke, depression and anxiety. Are you shaking your head? Are you is shock at this number? I know I was the 1st time I heard it.
Why am I talking about this in a blog dedicated to the mental side of sport? Well, it’s rather simple, being an athlete does not prevent these feelings of loneliness or isolation. Not every endurance athlete is on a team. Our sports are individual sports. Sometimes we train alone. Sometimes we may not feel like we belong in the group. Maybe we sometimes feel we are an “outsider”, are we larger than the other athletes? Gayer than the other athletes? Slower than the other athletes? Newer to the sport? Do we have different physical capabilities? Are we a different race than the other athletes? For these, and countless other reasons we can feel like an outsider. On the other end is the effect of what happens when our entire social circle is our endurance athlete friends? What happens if we get sick or injured? Is our belonging to the group contingent on our sports performance?
Last week I attended the Girls Gone Graveling Festival in Bentonville, Arkansas. I witnessed and was part of connection and community which is the antidote to loneliness and isolation. On the first night, Kristi Mohn facilitated a panel of Brooke Goudy, Marely Blonsky, Abi Robins (if you don’t know them, check them out on Instagram). They are leading the way for inclusion and belonging in the gravel space. I forget if it was Brooke or Marley, but one said to pull out a chair for others. Let’s create space, let’s invite people to our table. What I heard in that message was, be aware of the “others” in the room, be aware of what privilege you have in that moment and invite the other in. It is through those invitations that we create community and connection.
Now for the hard part: showing up. At the Gone Graveling Festival I saw something truly inspiring. I saw people showing up alone, with no previous connection with anybody else at the festival. Wow! That is so incredibly brave. They took a risk and showed up. When I asked, many had a similar response, they felt comfortable because of the online women’s gravel community. They had listened to Girls Gone Gravel, All Bodies on Bikes and Hit Play not Pause podcasts. Through these communities they had some confidence that they would be welcome at the festival. Its not always easy showing up, but at times, it sure does pay off.
I also want to advocate for creating space to get to know others outside of their participation in our sports. Who else exists in the body of that athlete? Are they also a baker? Maybe they love nature, or writing poetry. Let’s allow various dimensions of ourselves to be known. Let’s be curious about the lives of the others. Let’s create an environment where that person belongs not just because of their sport, but for who they are. When we can create that, we will decrease the possibility of isolation when an illness or injury happens.
I’m hoping to consciously create community whenever I can. Out on rides, at races, at events, meeting others. Cheering for others. Listening to the stories of the other athletes and people I meet.
